Glowing
by IThinkILeftMyCoatOutside
Summary: Inspired by the lyrics to Glowing by The Script. Short chapters. Kurt leaves Blaine, and - heartbroken - Blaine is determined to get him back. Rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**Why hello there :)**

**Okay, so I know that half eight in the morning is a bit of a weird time to upload a new story, but this may be the only time I can do it this weekend. Some of my more regular readers may be aware of the fact that I am going away to Tanzania for a month soon, and as a matter of fact I'm going on Monday, which is why I'm uploading this now. This is my new story, inspired by and based on the lyrics to _Glowing_ by The Script. While I'm away, my dear friend RainySunnyEnding will be uploading for me, so you'll be seeing some of these messages from her as well as me. I have the first nine chapters finished, and I'm halfway through the tenth but I don't think I'll get that finished before I go, but that means we should be covered until I get back. **

**I hope you all enjoy this story, because it's a little something I've been working on specifically to be uploaded while I'm away. It's different from my other stories as it is written in the first person, but I think it's worked rather well :)**

**So, I hope you like it, and thank you to all of the people who have read my stories from the beginning and thank you if this is the first story of mine you've read. It means a lot :)**

**See you in a month, guys! Xxx**

* * *

No matter how many times I repeated the words in my head, they still didn't make sense. It wasn't possible. Kurt couldn't be _leaving_ me. No, it wasn't true. He was just going through a rough time, surely?

When I confronted him about it, when I demanded to know the truth, he held his nerve for an hour or two before it all came spilling out, the tear-soaked truth. But the actualities made the lies seem simple. I didn't understand; Kurt and I had been together for nearly seven months by this point, one of the longest relationships I had ever been in and _the_ longest Kurt had ever been in. We'd exchanged 'I love you's merely weeks ago, both of us hesitant to say it for seeming too soon but neither of us able to hold it in any longer.

But when, just a week ago, Kurt had started to become incredibly distant, I'd naturally been incredibly concerned. I'd given him his space for a day or two, guessing he must have been going through a rough patch, before I addressed the problem, but immediately regretted it.

The truth had come spilling out: '_I'm sorry, Blaine, but I can't do this anymore'_; '_I've been leading you on all this time, I'm so sorry_'; '_Please forgive me_'. The begs continued, but I couldn't hear them above the noise of my heart shattering into a thousand fragments, each one lacerating the inside of my chest to cause a level of pain I didn't think even heartbreak could be responsible for.

I found a ticket in his wallet later that night while he was sleeping; unable to sleep, I had started the painful task of collecting the items of Kurt's that had come to take up residence in my apartment. It had been somewhat easier without Kurt doing it too, as I got to hold each one in my hands just that little bit longer. I had managed to convince him to stay with me after seven long hours of talking and crying and shouting and silence, even if he was only going to stay until the morning.

I knew that would be it; once morning came, Kurt would wake up, collect his things and leave. He would be out of my life until, in a few months' time, I'd bump into him in the most unlikely of places and it would be awkward as we attempted small talk while his ridiculously handsome new boyfriend was trying to pretend to be interested. It had been a situation friends of mine had found themselves in (not with Kurt, of course), and I was not looking forward to my turn.

And that was why I booked my own ticket to be on the same train as Kurt. It would take some sneaky following (_not _stalking), but I was determined to salvage our relationship. I refused to believe that this was the end; after everything we'd been through together, I'd never felt closer to anyone in my life and I was not about to just roll over and lose that. I had a few days until his ticket was booked for, and so that gave me hope that those few days would help Kurt to change his mind. I could only hope.


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter! Woo! I'm guessing I'll be in Tanzania by now, so I hope you all enjoy the rest of this story. This will be my last A/N now until I get back, because I'm not exactly going to be able to comment on your reactions. This is me handing it over to Lu, so be kind to her :)**

**Love you all, and I'll see you in a month :) Xx**

* * *

**Yeah, you... be kind to me ;)  
**

**Amy is now in Tanzania, and hopefully the giraffes have been given enough to eat. Even though she's not here, please review, because I know she'd love to have something beautiful to read when she gets back.**

**I haven't spoken to her about this, but I feel this will be what she wants. Cory Monteith was an amazing actor and a fantastic man. One day soon I hope we will be able to smile upon hearing his name and not start crying instantly. Until that day, we have each other. Our fandom. Our family. Cory, angel, rest in peace.**

**And shameless advertising time: I have just uploaded the cover I made for Glowing. If you'd like similar made, just drop me a message (RainySunnyEnding).**

**(I really need to stop writing stupidly long A/Ns...)**

* * *

The train was crowded that day, and I was thankful for it: I could keep Kurt in my eye line without him spotting me, thanks to my lack of height. Throughout the duration of the journey I considered just walking up to Kurt and letting him know that me and my backpack were in this for the long haul no matter what. But that wouldn't have been a good idea.

The separation had been painful, even though I knew I'd be following him. I could see the pain in his eyes as he'd said goodbye that morning, and I could feel it in his embrace. Feeling our hearts beating against each other for the last time for however long it would take for me to convince him that our relationship was worth another try was excruciating. I wanted to tell him then, reveal to him my plans of following him until my heart stopped beating, but we both needed to mourn our old relationship. For no matter when, where or how we reunited, our relationship wouldn't be the same.

And so I waited. I waited for him to get off the train and followed a few seconds later. I kept my distance but didn't let the distance between us grow as we wound through city streets and bustling crowds. When he ducked into an unassuming, cheap hotel, I waited in the coffee shop across the street a few doors down for an hour or so, keeping vigilant on the door to make sure he didn't leave without me. My third empty coffee cup collected, I paid my bill and ventured across the street into the hotel.

I paid for my own room as I made small-talk with the girl behind the desk. Before I left I asked if my 'friend' had already arrived and described him for her. She told me yes; he was in the hotel and was kind enough to give me his room number. She asked if I wanted her to ring up to him and let him know about my arrival but I advised her otherwise; I wanted to surprise him.

As I climbed the stairs up to Kurt's room, my mouth got drier and drier and I started to feel nauseatingly dizzy with nerves. Even though I'd planned on coming to talk to Kurt and convince him to give _us_ another try, I hadn't actually planned what I was going to say when I came face to face with him. The corridor along which his room was situated seemed to get thinner as I walked along it, closing in on me and making it harder to breathe. My eyes scanned the numbers until they landed on the one I was looking for; _21_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, it's Lu again. Thank you for your reviews! How about we leave her even more? Yeah?**

* * *

I stared at the fist of my hand where it was poised to knock on the door, internally arguing with myself about whether this was such a good idea. I could easily just turn around and go back home; Kurt would never know and I would be respecting his decision to leave, no matter how much heartache it caused me. I would be able to get over him eventually. It would undoubtedly take me a while, but I reckoned I could manage.

_No. You came all this way because you simply _can't_ let him go, _a voice called from the back of my mind. I allowed myself to focus on it, to listen to it and let it try to convince me even though I already knew it would win me over and make me stay._ You feel that?_ It asked me,_ deep down, you know this is the right thing to do. You know that this is a relationship you would never get over._ I agreed; it was right. I could never get over Kurt. I could tell myself over and over that it was possible, but it had only been a few days and already my entire body was exhausted from missing him. The voice got louder, pushing aside the one I thought was being rational when it considered turning for home. _If you turn around now, all of this would have been for nothing. You're chasing him because you want to, Blaine. No, you _need_ to. You _need _him and that's all there is to it. You know you do._ And then it said something that acted as the final nail in the coffin;_ you know that you love him_.

Yes, I knew that. It was always on my mind in some form or another; whether it was my main focus as I lay awake in bed at night, my head pounding with the undeniable truth of the statement and my heart beating for the body that was no longer next to mine, or it was just there in the background, floating through the empty spaces and occasionally catching my attention for a fleeting moment: _I'm in love. I'm in love with Kurt._

The impact of my knuckles coming down on the wooden door woke me from my reverie and a whole new wave of panic hit me when I realised what I'd done. The rational voice in my head, the one that had been pushed aside earlier, told me that if I was quick I could run for the stairs and Kurt would never see me. But then the other voice, the one who told me to stay and see this through, reminded me that Kurt's room was over halfway down the corridor from the stairs and so no matter how fast I ran he would most likely see me anyway. It told me there was no going back now; I had waited too long anyway to make a run for it.

_And besides, _it told me, _you can't run now; the door's opening._


	4. Chapter 4

**I really like this chapter... I hope you do too. And please, review! - Lu**

* * *

To say I was terrified was an understatement.

The door opened in slow motion and slowly Kurt came into view; his leg, his arm, his chest, his face, his other arm, his other leg. I watched him appear from behind the door in front of me and watched for the moment when he realised who was knocking on his door. His face fell slightly first, in shock rather than disappointment, and his eyes – his beautiful, bright blue eyes – widened, almost comically. And then his body tensed visibly under the plain, short-sleeved black t-shirt and dark-wash denim jeans he was wearing. He shuffled on the spot nervously. I could feel his eyes scouring me and double-checking that they were seeing right as I let myself drink in the sight of him in return. We stood opposite each other, just absorbing the fact that we were both staring at the other. I lifted my eyes nervously to meet his, and instantly our gazes locked. I couldn't tell what emotion was crossing his face; was he relieved, surprised or confused to see me again, or was that fear I could see in his eyes?

"B-Blaine?" His voice was timid, quiet; disbelieving. I swallowed thickly, my mouth betraying me by staying dry, and nodded weakly. I attempted a smile, but it was more of a grimace as I started to feel overwhelmed; I hadn't expected to react like this when I saw him, but apparently my body missed him so much that coming face to face with him had a physical effect on me and not just an emotional one. My knees went weak and threatened to buckle and my heart hammered so hard in my chest I was sure I would have some internal bruising on my chest. Kurt shook his head softly, and it was clear he was still recovering from opening the door to find me stood there. "W-what are you… what are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"I followed you," I admitted quietly and stared at the floor. My face flared up with embarrassment and shame, because saying it out loud made me realise how _desperate_ it must have made me look; I was acting like the ex-boyfriend who couldn't let go, _wouldn't_ let go. I saw Kurt open his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off as my thoughts tumbled out of my mouth, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- You wanted to leave and I just- I couldn't let you- So I followed you and now you probably think I'm crazy- I should go. I shouldn't have come. I'm so sorry," I knew that if I looked up at him it'd all be over; I'd either beg him to come home with me or cry, or even worse I'd do both, and so I turned on my heel and left without another word, sniffing and trying to blink back the tears that were congregating right on the edge, ready to collectively take the jump and fall down my cheeks. The pattern in the carpet beneath my feet became a blurred mess through my tears and so I wiped across my eyes roughly with the back of my sleeve.

I wasn't sure on where I was planning to go; I'd paid for a room but I knew I couldn't stay in it knowing Kurt was in the same building, so my only option left seemed to be catching a train and heading home where I could bury my head under my duvet for a few days before starting a relationship with two men simultaneously, one called Ben, the other called Jerry-

"Blaine, wait!"

I didn't get to finish my thought over which would be more suiting to my level of heartbreak, Cookie Dough or Baked Alaska, because I had to decide if I'd truly just heard what I thought I had. I stopped and stared at the floor until I could vaguely make out the pattern again, albeit with edges still slightly blurred, before turning back towards Kurt's door. I took a deep breath and let my eyes drift upwards to see him stood outside his room, one hand still on the doorframe, staring after me. I watched him expectantly, just waiting for him to tell me I shouldn't have come, but he just stared back at me.

"What?" I asked, silently begging him with my eyes to just rip the Band-Aid off already and let me go so I could deal with the cuts and scars underneath it on my own. He took a hesitant step forward, his fingertips barely touching the doorframe now.

"Come inside," he gestured back into his room and I noticed how unsure he looked, like he was scared I would decline. I realised how it was exactly how I must have looked when he'd opened his door; vulnerable, scared; hopeful. I watched him as he watched me, and as our eyes met once more I could tell he was really hoping I would say 'yes'.

So I did.


	5. Chapter 5

**I am personally in love with the language used in this chapter. Coatsy is incredible. Maybe you could help me tell her by leaving a review, yeah? Thank you to all those who have; you're totally awesome!**

* * *

The rooms in the hotel were small to start with, but when tension and awkward silence decided to join me and Kurt in Room 21 the only word to describe it was _cramped_. After Kurt had called me into his room, I had come in and sat on the small chair by the wardrobe and placed my bag by my feet. Kurt's suitcase was sat next to the bed, seemingly untouched. His jacket was draped across one of the corners of the bed and on the other corner the comforter was rumpled where Kurt appeared to have been sitting before I'd knocked. Kurt had followed me in, closing the door gently behind us, and resumed his seat at the foot of the bed.

"I, uh…" I looked up at him when he started talking, but he wouldn't make eye contact with me, "I wasn't… expecting to see you when I opened my door," he admitted. "But I- Blaine," he said my name to prompt me to look at him, and there wasn't a molecule in my body that could resist. His piercing blue eyes were laced with confusion as he gazed at me, his brow furrowed, "What are you _doing_ here?"

"I told you; I followed you-"

"No," he interjected, his voice firmer than I was expecting and making me jump slightly, "No, that's _how_ you got here. I asked you what you were doing here," he stared at me, watching me as he waited for me to answer. He clasped his hands together in front of him, his elbows leaning on his knees as he leant towards me, his gaze never leaving my face.

I didn't think there were enough words in the English language to explain how much I wanted him back, and so I went for the short and sweet option. "I… I want you back, Kurt. I want _us_ back," I told him, willing myself not to cry; "I _need_ us back." I saw something flicker across Kurt's face, but it was gone before I could recognise it. Instead, he brought his hands up to cover his face and sighed into them.

"Blaine," he mumbled into his hands before pulling them away, a look of exasperation on his face as he returned his gaze to mine, "I told you; this," he gestured between us, "Is over. I can't do it anymore; I was leading you on and that wasn't fair-"

"But _how_ were you leading me on? I don't understand!" I shifted forwards on my chair, ending up in nearly the same position as Kurt. He stared back at me blankly, and so I continued, "You kept saying that; '_I'm leading you on_', but I don't understand what you mean by that. We were happy together, Kurt." I shift forward just that bit closer so I can take his hands in mine, and I'm thrilled when he doesn't pull away from me. Instead he focuses his eyes on mine and I let myself feel that first spark of hope that I might win him over. "You told me you loved me, Kurt. Tell me you didn't mean it." His gaze flickers from mine, flitting around me for a few seconds before coming back to mine. He pulls his hands from mine suddenly and stands, going over to the small window and staring out of it with his arms crossed across his chest.

"I can't do this Blaine," he tells me, and the spark of hope inside me is extinguished by a huge bucket of freezing water. Instead, small sparks of anger begin to burn, slowly burning brighter and brighter in my chest before they explode into one huge fire. I want to know _why_, what it is I did that made his love for me just vanish. There has to be an explanation. I refuse to believe that he was 'leading me on', that none of it was real; not even in the actors in the movies could create something that accounted for even half of what Kurt and I had shared, or at least not in my eyes anyway. Every second of it was 100% real, from the first dates littered with nervous laughter to our first kiss to our 'I love you's just weeks ago. It couldn't have been an act, it couldn't.

"Why not?" I demand, standing up from my chair and glaring at him. He doesn't turn to look at me, just continues to stare out of the window.

"I told you," he mumbles, and it's evident that he's clenching his jaw to keep himself from shouting back at me, "I. _Can't_." He punctuates each word, a silent threat for me to drop it. But I can't. I've come too far; I at least deserve an explanation.

"_Why. Not?_" I spit back.

"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU!" he screams, turning to glare at me, and I can see the beginnings of tears in his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello again. Reevoo for Amy? Pweas?**

**(and jobelle516 you are awesome :D)**

* * *

I'm speechless. I'm breathless. I can't tell if the pain in my chest in because I want to laugh or because I want to cry. I want to do both. This doesn't make sense.

_Hold on_.

Kurt still loves me, which means he _wasn't_ leading me on. The lie wasn't him loving me; the lie was him telling me he didn't. And so, if he did and still does love me, why did he leave me?

The room has gone silent- no, the _world_ has gone silent. I literally don't know how to react to Kurt's words and by the looks of things neither does he; his eyes are wide, a complete deer-in-the-headlights look about him, and all colour has drained from his face making him look even paler than his flawless skin already was.

"What?" I ask tentatively, my voice seeming to echo through the room even though it's barely above a whisper. He sighs and sits down on the bed, slumping forward and putting his head in his hands, his fingers carding through his hair. "Did you- You still love me?" I ask when he doesn't reply. I take a cautious step forward, and when he still doesn't respond I take another step forward. "Kurt?" This time he sighs again and I can see the slightest movement of his shoulders. Without thinking about what I'm doing I move closer to him, and due to the size of the room I'm next to him within three more steps. My fears are confirmed when this new closeness allows me to hear the soft sobs that are escaping Kurt's mouth. I'm not sure if I can comfort him, if that would be crossing a boundary or not, so I sit next to him on the bed. He flinches slightly when he feels the mattress dip with my weight but apart from that he seems to have no reaction to me sitting so close to him. Each sob that escapes him breaks my heart into even smaller fragments and I want nothing more than to put my arms around him and hold him so close we almost become the same person, but even with Kurt's confession I know it's an action that would be out of place in this situation. And so instead I hesitantly put my hand on his back between his shoulder blades, rubbing gently once I have confidence he won't shrug me off. He mumbles something incoherent into his hands, and after a moment's deliberation I ask him to repeat it.

"I said, 'I'm _sorry_'," he says as he pulls his hands away.

"What for?" I ask, leaning past him to grab a tissue from the nightstand before leaning back and offering it to him. He takes it and after cleaning himself up a bit looks at me momentarily, his eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot, and then he looks back to the floor.

"For lying to you," he replies, and his words have yet again taken me by surprise, "I told you I was leading you on. I tried to make you believe I didn't love you. I tried to make _myself_ believe I didn't love you. I'm just- I'm not good at… this,"

"'This' being…?"

"Staying," he states after a few seconds of thought, and now I'm even more confused than I was before.

"Staying? What do you mean?" Kurt sighs and rests his head in his hand on the opposite side to me so that I can still see his face as he thinks.

"Did I ever tell you about… where I came from? Before I met you?" I shake my head 'no'; he never told me anything, just that he was new to the city and that was that. "Well, I haven't exactly 'stayed' anywhere for the past four or five years. My mother- She died when I was… eight, and so I grew up with just my dad. He helped me through high school and we were _really_ close – he was my _best_ friend, way above any of my friends. And then a few years ago, just after my twentieth birthday, he, uh… he died," Kurt swallows roughly and I can feel my whole body aching to just hold him, "It was pretty sudden, and I just couldn't be in our house anymore. Every room reminded me of him. And so, with no other family that I felt close enough to stay with, I took off on my own. I've been going all over America, staying in each new place for maybe a month or two," his eyes snap to mine, "Until you."

"M-me?"

"Yes, Blaine; you. Until you, I've never felt I had a reason to stay anywhere,"

"So why did you leave? This doesn't make any sense, Kurt," I shake my head to try and clear away the foggy confusion but none of it shifts. I take my hand from Kurt's back and rest my elbows on my knees again, trying to wrap my head around everything Kurt is telling me.

"I left because… I was scared," I look up to see him staring down at the tissue in his hands which he's now starting to slowly pull into tiny shreds.

"Scared? Of what?"

"Of _having_ somewhere. I haven't felt like I belonged anywhere for nearly five years, and the idea of actually _wanting_ to stay somewhere again is just… it's a little new to me,"

"Kurt… Why didn't you tell me?" he shrugs, not looking at me as he continues to shred the tissue. I put my hands over his to make him stop, imploring his eyes with mine.

"It's not exactly easy to talk about," he whispers, his voice wavering, "And besides, I can't expect you to want to be with me when there's the chance I could just take off any moment,"

"Kurt," I tilt his chin up so that he looks at me and I look him right in the eye as I tell him, "I want to be with you, no matter what."

"But what if I-"

"If you feel like you need to leave, I'll wait for you," I tell him, "Or I'll come with you… if you'll have me, of course,"

"Y-you'd do that… for _me_?" he asks, his blue eyes shining bright with emotion and intrigue. I smile and nod. A small gasp escapes Kurt's lips and then I'm suddenly on top of him, his arms around my shoulders. It takes me a second to realise he's pulled me up and back onto the bed, but when I do I can't help but laugh as he squeezes me tight. My hands find his body so that I can hold him in return, but I resist venturing too far south.

And then there's a light, teasing kiss placed on my neck just below my jawline, and all of my concern for keeping it above the belt are thrown out the window.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi again. Another Saturday, another upload. And what an upload...**

* * *

The sunlight streaming in through the window reminded me that Kurt and I had forgotten to close the drapes last night. I groaned as the daylight seemed to burn my eyes through my eyelids, and rolled my face into the pillow to avoid it. Now awake, I could feel the ghosts of kisses all over my neck, my face, my body. One on my cheek felt as if it had just been pressed to my cheek and I smiled at the thought.

My movement caused my whole body to shift slightly, and memories of last night came flooding back to me: Kurt kissing me, me kissing Kurt; Kurt pulling my shirt off over my head and me unbuttoning his, pushing it back off over his strong shoulders; Kurt's nails digging into my shoulders; fervent, passionate kisses; skin blissfully on skin…

My hand caressed the empty sheets next to me and I started; Kurt's smooth, flawless skin should have been under my fingertips, his body still recovering from last night as mine was. But there was no sight of him; his clothes were no longer scattered across the floor, mixed in with mine, and his jacket was gone from the hook on the back of the door. His shoes were no longer where they had been hastily discarded next to mine. Panic started to flare up in my chest, my throat going dry and making it impossible for me to swallow, let alone breathe. Ignoring the dull ache in my backside I scrambled out of bed and pulled on my underwear, desperately scanning the room for any sign of him.

As I stumbled forward, my foot collided with something solid and a bard of pain shot up the side of my foot. "_Shit_," I cursed under my breath, hopping on my right foot as I held onto my injured foot. The pain started to ebb soon after and I gingerly placed it back down on the carpet, and I looked down at the offending object I had walked into.

My petrified heart calmed at the sight of Kurt's suitcase still propped up against the wall, my bag placed on the other side of it to where I was standing. _Kurt can't have gone far_, I remarked to myself, _he wouldn't have left his suitcase here… He must be getting breakfast or something_.

Confident in my assumptions, I turned back towards the en-suite bathroom with the intention of showering and tidying myself up for when Kurt came back. But my eye caught a small piece of white paper on the floor between Kurt's suitcase and the door, and, with no recollection of it being there the night before, my curiosity was ignited. I stooped to pick it up, my eyes glancing over the small, typed print of a receipt.

It was for a bag – a large one by the look of the price – and it had been bought this morning. My brow furrowed in confusion; there wasn't a new bag in the room that I could see, and my bag and Kurt's suitcase were still here.

I will never be able to explain what it was that drove me to make my next decision, but it was one that, had I not made it, it would have made the next few hours falsely blissful and I would not have realised what had happened until much later. I twisted round and stared at Kurt's suitcase, my heart rising into my throat with dread. I couldn't be right. This couldn't be happening.

I gently wrapped my hand around the handle of the suitcase and steeled my nerves before lifting it. I dropped it almost instantly, letting out a strangled sob as I stumbled backwards against the wall.

It was empty. Kurt had left me again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey again. Review? - Lu**

* * *

I didn't care that my flies were undone on my jeans, or that my shirt was on inside out, because as my bare feet pounded down on the stairs as I ran down to the lobby there was only one thing on my mind: _Kurt_.

I stumbled into the lobby and a small spark of hope burst through me when I saw that the girl at the reception desk was the same one who had told me Kurt's room number the night before. I ran to her, nearly slamming into the desk in an attempt to stop myself, ignoring the mumbles and sideways glances I received from the other people in the lobby. She jumped back at the sound of my body hitting her desk, but her face cleared to one of recognition when she looked up to my face.

"Good morning," she greeted, a small smile on her lips when she saw how I was wearing my shirt, "How are you today?"

"Kurt- the guy- I- Where- Have you- seen him?" I panted, my breath seemingly still two flights of stairs away. Her brow furrowed and she shook her head slightly, evident that she hadn't understood a word of my wheezed gibberish. "Room 21," I stated, and again her confusion cleared to be replaced by acknowledgement.

"Oh, the guy you asked for last night?" I nodded eagerly and she chuckled a little. "He already checked out, but he told me to tell you-"

"When?" I interrupted her, my whole body going cold. I tightened my grip on the desk as I felt my knees buckle, my legs shaking beneath me where I stood. She took a few seconds to hear my question, but after a moment's thought she answered.

"About… half an hour ago?" she offered, and my heart sank even further than I thought possible; it felt as if it was nearly in my feet as the knowledge hit me that, wherever Kurt had gone, I most likely wouldn't be able to find him this time. "_But_," the girl emphasised to get my attention, and I looked up at her hopefully, "he told me to tell you the he left a note for you on the bedside table telling you where he is." She smiled, as if that made everything better. I felt my cold loss quickly boil and bubble up into bitter anger. _So Kurt thinks that a note will make up for leaving me alone and naked in a hotel room after the night we had? Well, he's got another thing coming._ I thanked the receptionist for her help and turned away, shuffling slowly back to the stairwell, my mind swimming with a mix of heartbroken fear over never seeing Kurt again and fuming wrath at his lack of courage to even wake me up and say goodbye _to my face_.

I climbed the stairs in a numb blur, tripping over a step every now and again and blindly hanging onto the handrail to guide me. I accidentally climbed an extra flight of stairs in my daze, and had to grip onto the handrail to stop me from tumbling back down them. I finally got to the right floor and shuffled down the hall to Room 21, grimacing in tired frustration when I saw that I'd left the door ajar in my hurry to get downstairs. Luckily, upon entering the room, I realised that nothing had been stolen.

It felt wrong to be in here now; the air was stale and thick, and the light shining in offended my eyes. I stalked over to it and whipped the curtains shut, but my anger soon turned into despair when I looked back into the room, at the unmade bed and the abandoned suitcase propped up next to mine. Overwhelmed and heartbroken, I flopped onto the bed rather unceremoniously and buried my face in the disarrayed bed covers, trying to hold back my sobs. But my eyes betrayed me when I caught the vague scent of Kurt's cologne on the sheets, and tears began to escape down my cheeks.

It was another ten minutes before I remembered what the receptionist had said about the note, but when I did I leapt from the bed and left the tear-stained sheets behind me. I grabbed the notebook, knocking the pen that had been delicately placed atop it onto the floor as I did so, and roughly wiped my eyes to read what Kurt had left me.

_My dear Blaine,_

_I want you to know that leaving you in bed this morning nearly ripped my heart in two,  
especially when you looked so serene and all I wanted to do was kiss you awake,  
but I had to go. I knew that if I woke you, I wouldn't ever be able to leave you again,  
especially if you gave me those goddamn puppy-eyes that make me cave in seconds._

_I need you to know that I did _**not**_ leave you with the intention of never coming back to you;  
I have every intention of doing just that. But knowing that I could actually be with you, and  
knowing that I want to be with you for the rest of my life, made me also realise that I have a few  
loose ends I need to attend to. I have gone back to Ohio to make my peace with my parents' deaths and reconcile with a few family members who I pushed away all those years ago when all they were trying to do was help me. All these years I have blamed myself for what happened to my father, believing that there was more I could have done for him or that I could have noticed the signs earlier, but now I realise that I did everything in my power and it was not my fault._

_I will also be saying goodbye to my parents and my family for the last time, for once I leave Ohio this time around I don't plan on going back. The place is full of memories for me that I don't think I would be able to deal with seeing on a daily basis, and I want to start again somewhere new. With you._

_I promise that I will see you soon, and I hope that you will take me back when I do. _

_My undying love for you knows no bounds,_

_Your Kurt_

_Xxxxxxxx_


	9. Chapter 9

**This is the last chapter from me, then Amy is back! (Can you tell I'm a bit excited?!)**

**I have loved uploading this story for you, and I would like to thank you all again for leaving your reviews. And thank you for putting up with me!**

**- Lu**

* * *

I pushed myself further down my bed and groaned, trying my best to ignore the banging at my door. When it continued, I curled in on myself even tighter, so wrapped up in my duvet I could have suffocated in the warmth of my breath and body heat trapped under it. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and brought my knees up to my chest, but nothing could deter the insistent pounding just a few feet away from me. I threw the covers back with a loud groan and glared at the door.

"_WHAT?_" I screamed, my frustration composed more of my despair than of actual anger. The past two weeks had been torturously painful, with all of thoughts on Kurt and when I could see him again only to be disappointed when the head of chestnut hair that caught the corner of my eye belonged to someone else. For two days I waited patiently, trying to get on with work as if nothing was wrong, but as the week progressed I found myself less and less able to concentrate and I grew more irate with each passing day when I didn't see Kurt. After a week my mood had rapidly declined, and within another few days I had begun refusing to get out of bed altogether, which explained why I felt as rotten as I did.

My friends had caught onto my change in mood pretty quickly, and with none of them knowing that I had been to see Kurt they had all believed it was me grieving for my lost relationship. But when I had explained to them, they'd all had mixed reactions; a few claimed outright that I was stupid for trusting him again and believing that he would stay with me, whilst others were more sympathetic. One of the more sympathetic ones was my best friend from college, Deb, whose voice it was that floated through my door.

"Alright, alright, don't bite my head off! I just came to see if you fancied getting out of bed today." She went silent, obviously waiting for answer. I gave her none, instead scowling at my floor, and I heard her sigh. "It's been two weeks, Blaine."

"Well done, _Captain Obvious_," I sneered back, but immediately felt horrible about it. I was lashing out at my friends over my own stupidity, believing that Kurt would come back to me again when he had so easily left me before. Deb sighed again and rattled the doorknob. It wasn't locked, but it was a trick she had used on me to get me out of bed in college; it was a warning, a warning that next time she would come in whether I permitted her to or not.

"Get up, Blaine," she said firmly, and I heard her footsteps retreat from my door. _I should never have given her a copy of my key_, I grumbled inwardly as I lazily climbed out of bed and stretched, giving a satisfactory sigh when my spine clicked. I felt stiff and uneasy on my feet after being in bed for nearly three days straight, but I managed to stumble around my room and gather enough pieces of clothing to assemble an outfit from. Just as I was tugging my jeans on, my door flew open to reveal Deb standing there with her hand on her hip and the other still on the door. She saw what I was doing and shook her head violently.

"Uh-uh," she stepped forward and pulled up straight, yanking me out of my room and away from my jeans that were now in a pile on my bedroom floor, "You're having a shower, mister," she told me as she steered me towards the bathroom, ignoring my protests as we went, "_then_ you can get dressed - into some _clean_ clothes." She all but threw me into the bathroom and turned the shower on before giving me a stern look. "In," she pointed to the jet of hot water streaming down as she glared at me, "_now_."

If I hadn't have known her for so long, I think I would have been genuinely terrified of her in that moment. But this was Deb; loud, boisterous but still ultimately caring Deb. She was doing what all of my other friends wouldn't dare to do to me in this state; she was giving me the Tough Love Treatment, and I knew that all of her intentions came straight from her heart of pure gold, and she was only doing this to help me.

But _no way_ was I getting naked in front of her.

"Deb, I'm not gonna-"

"Don't make me undress you, Blaine."

Okay, scratch that. That tone of her voice would make me do anything out of sheer terror that she would actually go through with her threat. Luckily, she turned around anyway as soon as my thumbs were hooked in the waistband of my boxers and stalked out of the room. I climbed in under the water and nearly melted with relief as my muscles started to relax. I hadn't realised how tense I was until that moment, and I stood for a good while just letting the steaming water run over my body, my head against the cool tile.

When I felt that I was clean enough to meet Deb's standards, I shut the water off and climbed out to find a fresh, fluffy towel waiting for me. I smiled, because Deb was taking care of me at a time when I would outright deny that I needed her to, and wrapped it around my waist. Feeling refreshed, I padded to the kitchen to find a steaming cup of coffee waiting for me opposite Deb's concerned gaze.

But despite Deb being there for me, and the rejuvenating shower, I still could not ignore the dull, permanent ache in my chest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Guess who's back!**

**Hey guys :) Sorry I didn't upload on Wednesday - I only got back on Monday and I was just tired and caught up with post-trip family/friends meetings, but I'm back now! :D Thank you all so much for reading this story, and for being so amazing to Lu when she was uploading for me. I know that a few of you said you were going to miss her, so I may get her to make an appearance in a later chapter or two :)**

**Anyway, thank you all so much for the reviews and the favourites, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)**

* * *

Deb left my apartment later that evening. Being better than the best friend that I could ever ask for, she had decided to spend her Sunday looking after me, cheering me up, and generally distracting me from my heartache. She listened to me pour my heart out over my coffee and refilled my mug when my first one went cold; I was too busy talking to drink it, and so Deb made sure I drank the second one before the same thing happened again. And then, after we'd discussed everything in detail and Deb had given me her tough-but-still-heartfelt advice ("Kurt sounds like a bit of a jerk for leaving you _again_, but I know how much you two loved each other… And quite frankly he's missing out if he doesn't come back to you"), she let me cuddle up to her as we watched daytime TV in the afternoon, the two of us shouting at episodes of _Jerry Springer_. We pigged out on takeaway pizza together until we swore that neither of us would ever need to eat again, and washed it all down with a glass of wine or two each.

By the time ten pm rolled around, I'd fallen asleep across Deb's lap part-way through watching _Four Weddings and a Funeral_ and she woke me up with a nudge.

"I'm going to head home now, sweetie," she told me softly, patting my hair affectionately as I woke up, "It's getting late and I have work tomorrow." I sat up slowly as I woke up and turned to see Deb smiling affectionately at me. "You're so cute when you're sleepy," she teased as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and yawned.

"Sh'up, Deb," I mumbled with a grin. She laughed and stood from the sofa, pulling me up with her. I watched sleepily as her gaze rose to my curls, and with an amused 'tut' she smoothed them out with her hand. I dodged out from under her touch like a child, crossing my arms over my head to protect my hair with a pout.

"Sorry, sorry; I know you hate me touching your hair," Deb teased, giggling at my childish behaviour, and I struggled to hide my own grin, "I won't do it again, I promise." She extended her arms to me, beckoning me with a wiggle of her fingers. "Come on, give me a hug; I gotta go." With a playfully wary inspection of her, I finally took a step forward and allowed her to wrap her arms around my shoulders, my own hands finding their place on her back to return the hug. "Are you feeling better?" she asked into my hair, squeezing my shoulders affectionately at the same time. I nodded against her shoulder.

"Yeah, a bit," I told her honestly, because even though my chest was still aching with missing Kurt, the ache wasn't as strong anymore, "Thanks, Deb."

"No problem, hun," her hold on me tightened for a few seconds before she pulled away, holding me at arm's length and looking me straight in the eye, "If you need me at any point, you call me, okay? Even if it's slap bang in the middle of my work shift, I don't care; I'll drop anything and everything for you, B." I nodded in acknowledgement as Deb became blurry in front of me. I roughly wiped my eyes on the back of my sleeve, and when I looked up I couldn't help the embarrassed titter of laughter that escaped me when I saw Deb's bottom lip threatening to tremble, her eyes glistening. We both laughed then at the state we'd gotten ourselves into and shared another hug before I walked Deb to the door, promising that if I needed her I would call her as soon as possible.

Shutting the door behind me once Deb had disappeared down the corridor I turned back into my apartment with a sigh. My eyes drifted to the pizza boxes and wine glasses still on the coffee table and I begrudgingly dragged my feet over to them to tidy up. All I wanted to do was go to bed and continue my sleep, a vague idea forming in my head that I would go back to work the next day. I was just putting the wine glasses away after washing them when there was a knocking at the door. I started wondering what Deb could possibly have left behind, my eyes scanning my apartment as I made my way to the door.

When my hand closed around the metal of the handle, I was only expecting to find my best friend stood there, probably panting from running back up the stairs after realising she had left whatever it was she'd come back for. What I wasn't expecting, however, was what met my eyes when I pulled open the door.

Kurt.


End file.
